to Overcome Shyness
to Overcome Shyness
Everyone feels shy sometimes, but
being too shy can hamper many aspects
of your life.
1. Determine why you're shy in the
first place. For example, are you
scared of what someone might say
about your physical appearance?
Remember, there's an underlying
reason for how you react in situations.
2. Act as if you're not shy. In
private, behave as if you're oozing
confidence. Hold your chin up, stick
your chest out, add a swagger to
your walk and speak firmly. It may
seem ridiculous, but you will see
results when you're out in public.
3. Practice making eye contact and
smiling in your interactions with
others. Strike up casual conversations
with strangers about weather or
4. Look your best. One way to improve
self-consciousness is to always
look good and limit ways you can
5. Lower your fear of rejection
by imagining the worst possible
outcome. If you approach someone,
they may say "no" or they
may just walk away. Absolutely everybody
has been rejected at some point,
but no one has to dwell on it.
6. Look and learn. Watching friends
or even strangers who aren't shy
is a good way to learn some tips
7. Feel positive about yourself,
don't get frustrated and have fun.
Remember, the real goal is to find
someone who will like you for who
Stop talking to yourself by ReyZa
One thing I've learned about being
shy is that you talk to yourself
a lot when you are in certain situations.
If you do talk in your head, stop
and say, "Stop talking to yourself....
Focus on talking to others instead."
Make others feel comfortable by
With the exception of a few "weirdos,"
most people (even extroverts) feel
a little uncomfortable or apprehensive
around people they don't know. The
fact that they don't know you creates
uncertainty, and uncertainty usually
So, give people non-verbal (and
verbal) cues to let them know that
you are a cool person who they should
problem talking to or dealing with.
Note that this probably won't work
very well if you are shy but also
Most interactions feed off the initial
impression that each person has
of the other. If either party acts
unfriendly (or even just ignores
the other), it feeds back in the
other direction as well. If you
perceive someone as unfriendly,
you'll likely act unfriendly (or
disinterested), and the two of you
will both decide to categorize the
other as "unfriendly."
The message will be "Don't
interact with this person".
However, if you do the opposite,
things will build in the other direction
(assuming there is no serious incompatibility).
Basically, anyone who meets a stranger
doesn't know what is going to happen
between them and the stranger. They
are, in effect, looking for someone
something to set the tone of the
interaction. If you decide to set
the tone and you project the idea
the two of your are going to talk
(and enjoy it), the other person
will probably pick up on that and
that must be how it's going to work.
Another thing that's helpful for
shyness is to figure out if you
are shutting others out for any
reason. It could
be that you're just busy, or maybe
you are bitter about people in general,
or whatever. If you are in a group
of people and you are primarily
thinking of something else other
than those people, you're not going
to interact with them very well.
If possible, you need to open yourself
up and try to really think about
them: what they're thinking, how
they're feeling, whether they had
a good day, whether they are enjoying
(or other surroundings), etc. I've
found that sometimes it's not that
I don't have the social skills to
go and talk to people, it's just
that sometimes I don't want to be
around people. So, even though I
am around them, I am disinterested
and I mostly ignore them. In this
case, what I thought was shyness
was actually just a lack of interest.
The only thing I've found to counter
this is a desire not to look back
at the end of my life and see myself
having been that way the whole time,
if that makes any sense at all.
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